#I sound fucking drunk

[teaboot]

Guy was drinking a beer with his buddies, catcalling a lady at my bus stop a minute ago, and because I'm an idiot my knee-jerk reaction was to turn around and go "Fuck man, come on, have some fuckin' class, jesus" and you know what! As a 5'3" queer dude! I figure now that kinda shit's gonna be how I die!!

Fortunately having tits I'm also 'real pretty' and it's 'no big deal' and the real problem is my 'real ugly attitude' so fuckin' hallelujah I fuckin' guess

[corsairspade]

Halenthir scenario where they get married for tax benefits (in a platonic good friends sort of way) and fall in love long distance via sending each other letters with ideas on how to best leverage their marriage for tax evasion.

[canon-notcanon-warriorcats]

i love gullswoop, she seems so genuinely sweet and like she's just trying to help, SUNBEAM WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO HER

[the-dye-stained-socialite]

May's Strip Game Part 6

[> Ask about the Lights] "The lights?" he queries. It is nearly a mockery of your own tone. "My, the Beth is an old dear I'm afraid. It's rather prone to structural issues. What with all the bills stacking up, it's rather hard to keep the lights on, I'm afraid. Sometimes half of the building will simply go out! Now, sit back, and continue to enjoy the show, won't you?" When did the votes begin to pour in so quickly? When were the Attendants able to count so rapidly? Shoes next. Did you vote for that? You're certain you.must have. It is difficult to remember the number you wrote down on your paper. Two? No, layer two has been removed a while ago. Your opinion seem to be making up more and more of the vote. Perhaps you and your fellow votes are simply more in tune. A chair has been brought out for the Merry Gentleman. He rests his cane beside it, and begins to work on his laces. Two shoes, two laces, undone nicely and neatly. A pair, but separate. How odd it would be for him to wear only one, and not the other. He sets them aside, then swings sideways in his chair. The mirrors flicked behind him. It's rather improper posture, but my does it afford you a nice view of his thighs. There are gasps, there are whimpers.

There is a brush against your back. A hand? Wider than your own. It is gone quickly. "Yes yes, let's get on with the voting."

{<<<Part One} {<Part Five} {Part Seven>}

[sharkshenanigans]

❗headphones required❗

Foolish getting absolutely wasted on the QSMP (+ receiving a lapdance from his bfriend <3)

I am... So sorry. Leonarda, I am so sorry you had to witness this.

Vegetta (in chat): i need you. Is important. Is sexual important.

Foolish (out LOUD): Am I about to get laid? Holy shit.

💃

Vegetta: *reveals his stripper outfit*

Foolish: *literally, physically, jumps out of his chair*

💃

Roier: You just had sex?!

Foolish: Basically! That's what it felt like-

Foolish: *notices Leonarda*

Foolish: I mean- No. No Leo, nothing happened. We were just at a dance party.

Guys I had to edit out so many of his fake drunken burps you don't even know. How did he even do that??? 😭

I hope u enjoy! 💕

[mer-se]

We love a gay cowboy with the prettiest smile 🐎🖤

[bigdickevans]

i don’t know if this is gonna make sense but i feel like Wicked’s casting is bad for like. longevity. bc sure in the Movie Theater having the Movie Theater experience my ape brain goes oh! jeff goldblum! haha cool. then i exit the theater and turn on the soundtrack in the car. then i also listen to it the next day at home with earbuds. and maybe again the day after that in the shower with a speaker. and it’s like hmm. i don’t think seeing jeff goldblum as the wizard of oz is worth having mediocre moments in the soundtrack. that you should want me to listen to multiple times. “i thought he did fine!” fine? it’s. it’s Wicked. genuinely why on earth should i settle for “fine” ITS WICKED i feel like im going bananas.

[techmomma]

part of a larger image i'm working on but tbh it's pretty great on its own

[lesbians4scully]

fuck he was so real for this

bc like. "i get silly" but there’s something Far fuckin bigger implied there. but he doesn’t elaborate- the "uh, um, i don’t know/ i’ll write something else" the diversion from whatever "i get silly" means. the use of "silly" to encompass Whatever this is. maybe it’s my own experiences biasing how i interpret it but. the word choice minimises it, but we can tell there’s something else there. i just like. it hits because the wording of Feeling Things here is similar to how i word feeling similar stuff out loud, yk ?? like. u don’t want to properly worry anyone, and u can’t verbalise it anyway, and really, it is "silly" but that’s so hard to step back from when ur In That Frame Of Mind. idk. as is evident, idk how to word it, but. he gets it. i often forget how good a writer he is bc Its The Silly Minecraft Guy !! and bc the stuff he writes for lovejoy, although GREAT, is far less personal: both for him and for the audience i think. but this shit really hits.

[teecupangel]

Me again, can't believe I'd forgotten Jennifer in my recent ask, lmao XD

Also, in your opinion, do you think, in an alternative time-line, Ratonhnhaké:ton could have had a sister?

(Totally not asking because I made an OC that is Conners younger twin sister named Laura. XD)

The “How Haytham would have ended up as an Assassin and married to Kaniehtí:io” ask that I think is talking about this.

Hahahaha, it’s okay. You did remember Jennifer, you just gave me an excuse to not make Edward realize that he should let her be an Assassin XD

I think that Kaniehtí:io and Haytham would have a marriage where only having one child would have been a miracle. They’re attracted to one another (and love one another) so being married will only give them the green light (especially Haytham) to act on that attraction in a more physical sense.

As for children…

Yeah, Ratonhnhaké:ton would definitely have a younger sibling and one of them could have been a girl. He would have probably had 2 younger siblings to be honest.

But I wouldn’t necessary think it would be a twin sister because the Calculations is set for Ratonhnhaké:ton to be their eldest child.

So we have two options:

(1) Let the Calculations win this time and Ratonhnhaké:ton is born alone or (2) We find some way to mess it up by messing up the conditions of Ratonhnhaké:ton’s conception (3) We just chuck the Calculations out of the window the moment Edward survives his fated death

(3) is the easiest to do but (2) is doable by setting up the conditions of Ratonhnhaké:ton’s conception. He is fated to be conceived in sometime in July 1755 in the entrance of the Grand Temple so if we write it that he is not conceived any time in July AND anywhere not near the Grand Temple, we have enough leeway to add in a twin sister during his conception.

This will mess up his birthdate (unless this becomes a case of a ‘premature birth’ to ensure he is still born on April 4) but that’s a small sacrifice to make XD

I do like to suggest that Ratonhnhaké:ton’s sibling(s) would have 2 names like him. 1 Kanien'kehá:ka name and 1 ‘English’ name. So Laura would also have a Kanien'kehá:ka name that her siblings, mother and tribe uses.

Since Ratonhnhaké:ton had 2 daughters and 1 son in canon, maybe in this one, Ratonhnhaké:ton would have 1 younger sister (Laura) and 1 younger brother?

And because I love Desmond too much, I second @seelezeit’s reply:

Ok but consider: the second child is Desmond. He gets a much more stable and happy family life this way :3

Make Desmond the youngest of the three! Spoiled and loved by his entire family!

If you don’t want him to remember who he is, the memories of Desmond Miles can stay as nightmares that are only hinted on in the background XD

[gayestcowboy]

just saw saltburn. idk what the fuck i just watched but i enjoyed it the whole time!

[helltemp]

moxxie might be my favorite helluva character simply because of this

[cyberpunkboytoy]

I found BL8M's YouTube channel, and hearing Luka sing this is just... bizzare

(Let 👏 Luka 👏 say 👏 fuck 👏 !!!!!!)

[blackcurrant-juice]

back in septmeber i got some kind of attack in the middle of lab so they sent me to the ER because they didn't want to take chances with me dying from chemicals but still made me pay the hospital fees myself. then i still had to go back the next week to finish my lab. then bad news happened last week and my. lab report is so fucking late. all these penalties. it will be worth fucking nothing. what did i go to the ER for they should have just let me die there #tbh

[bellehalla]

do u guys think Kaeya says fuck? i am genuinely curious

[jellogram]

Canada is such an insane place. It's the second largest country in the world by area but only barely cracks the top 40 by population. It has some of the most beautiful places on earth, an almost inconceivably huge labyrinth of islands and mountains that stretches up into the Arctic. And it's incredibly difficult to visit most of it. It's even harder to live up there, and most of the people who do are from cultures who have lived there for millennia.

And I've been to Canada quite a bit, I am a citizen of the same country that those people are beholden to, but it might as well be another universe. As Americans we always talk about how different each region of our country is, but I don't think you can find a gap bigger than the difference between Toronto and the most remote regions of Nunavut. The bulk of your population crouches up against the border, and is still known for its difficult winters.

Canada you are a massive, gorgeous, complicated beast of a country, and it kills me that the world only knows you for moose and syrup and politeness.